Pity Party

The last few days have been a real struggle, first I had an ear infection that I did not seek treatment for, so it got very bad and painful so not much got done around the house, of course.  Then Savannah got sick, with what I thought was an ear infection so we took her to the pediatrician right away, she had croup, this caused her iron to drop to very low levels, she has anemia and a very weak and compromised immune system so when she gets sick needless to say, it can be really scary.  I had somehow convinced myself in my mind that we had "cured" her being that she had not been sick in a very long time, but then this hit and guilt and sadness came rushing over me.  I feel so sorry that she has these struggles in life, I wonder could I have done something different, what happened differently in my pregnancy with her that did not happen with our two older children?  Then I have to stop and remind myself it was not us, it was God, he gave her to us this way to help her, to teach her, and to support her through all this.  She is going to be an amazingly strong and brave woman someday, and I will be proud to say that I was a small part of that!